The Importance of Planting Seeds
12 Lessons We Learned from Livestreaming a Funeral
by Maria Doctor Fernandez & Asher B. Gudsen (Fernandez)
“Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.”
What Happens When You Plant Seeds
When we started building Fields of Plenty together, we knew that faith would be somehow at the center of our philosophy, purpose statement, and practice. But…we didn’t know how critical it would be to persevere until one of the seeds we planted turned into a paid opportunity to be of service.
If we could tell you we pounded the pavement to try to get someone–anyone–to pay us to create a memorial video for their family or loved one, you might think we didn’t try hard enough. And you might be right. But to us, with a commitment to solvency, and with our business mentor Dave’s guidance, we understood we needed a targeted strategy–solving a problem for an underserved population, with the gifts, talents, and resources currently at our disposal.*
And given the overwhelmingly positive feedback we received from the free memorial videos we did (labors of love, mind you–for dear friends and family), we were sure we were onto something.
Feedback from a grieving mother of two who had just lost her third sister to cancer, and from her family, who were moved, uplifted, and found catharsis in it.
Feedback from family members, longtime friends, and even a funeral director, for the work we did on Grandma Doctor’s extended memorial video.
We thought this was fruit from seeds we had planted. And it would be fair to say we thought we were entitled to be paid for our time, for that service at least, from that point forward. It’s not that it was only about the money. (Although we have to balance our budget like anyone else.) We actually cared about the families we were serving, honoring their loved ones, and incorporating what they meant in meaningful ways, with storytelling and technical expertise.
A Tiered Approach
We adapted the 17.5-minute extended version (played at Grandma Doctor’s funeral in April) into three smaller versions/packages, catering to different budgets and needs. (See tier 2 here.)
But after reaching out to many funeral homes in our area, senior living centers and our community, it took something out of us to get mostly no’s to custom memorial videos, legacy videos, and otherwise. It chipped away at our confidence, that we were offering services that people wanted–and that we had “good enough” samples to invite prospective customers to trust us with their stories. It even chipped away at our belief that there was a point in planting such seeds.
What it did do though was expose whether we were going to abandon our mission when things got hard. The purpose we felt called to, even when no fruit or even growth was showing up. So we were faced with a choice. Reflect? Yes. Learn? Yes. Pivot? Yes. But abandon? No.
The truth is, we weren’t entitled. And we couldn’t force any outcomes. We could only continue to build our reputation and portfolio one person at a time, one project at a time, one story at a time…and one prayer at a time. Meanwhile, that positive feedback would be the fuel we needed to keep the faith, continue persevering, knocking on more doors, and building our own lane. And after varied, targeted outreach–if intermittent at times, it took about seven months for one of those seeds to bear the fruit we needed to keep our mission alive. But, it turns out, not in the way we expected…
An Image of Hope
This is what you hope happens when you plant seeds. But there are so many factors that impact a seed’s growth. The health of the seed, the soil, sunlight, timing, access to clean water, nutrients, and more.
Unexpected Growth: A Call from a Family in Need
It was the morning of Thursday, September 4th when I, Maria, got a call from a number I didn’t recognize. Not only did I not see it, but I had grown accustomed to ignoring those types of calls, especially when they don’t leave a voicemail. But then, about four hours later, I got the call again–this time with a voicemail I noticed over an hour later. (For someone who gets easily distracted, the “Do not disturb” feature is critical to my productivity. Especially when most of those calls are selling something we don’t need or can’t afford.)
So I listened. Hearing the voice of a kind man, who mentioned my name and that he was referred to me by a local funeral home, a wave of warmth immediately flooded me. He needed to find someone to livestream a funeral. He asked that I call back. Did I mention he sounded kind? And that he needed our help?
Of course, I told Asher immediately (as well as his mom who was visiting). And I could see hope rise in him as well. Could this be the first fruit from all those seeds we planted? Our first client referred to us from all of that outreach? An answer to Asher’s devout mother’s prayers? Whatever the case, we were in agreement–we wanted to help. And there was only one way to find out. So I called him back to learn more.
It turned out that the reason they wanted to livestream the funeral of his father-in-law–a man who had worked really hard to build a life he dreamed of, take care of his family, and be generous to his community in ways that would outlast him–was because he was born in Ireland.** And they wanted the family and friends in Ireland to be able to witness the funeral mass–and if possible, in real time. This really hit a chord. We knew firsthand how important it was to try to include family and friends in far-off places, in real time; this is what prompted us to livestream our own wedding over a year before. It was no longer theoretical–we could empathize. And we didn’t want to let them down.
But might we? We knew, at the moment we assured them we could do this, citing our wedding as an example, we weren’t yet fully prepared. But we knew we could be. We knew we could do it. Not only did we both have film & television degrees, as well as (Asher) all the equipment we needed. A couple of months prior, we had actually helped video record and livestream a Spanish-language concert for a friend, also at a church. And we had recently received additional training, volunteering at our own church as well.
What’s more, we committed to be of service and be prepared. In order to help alleviate this technical burden off this grieving family in their time of need. And to give ourselves permission to rise to the occasion, making use of our gifts, knowledge, equipment, compassion, and faith, however frayed.
Now, as much as we were eager and committed to seeing this assignment through, negotiating a deal required yet another step–earning the family’s trust. And in the absence of a sample of a previous livestream to show them, that meant agreeing to a lower rate. You might think that that would sting. But actually, not only were we eager to negotiate, and take this off their plate–we were honored to do so. And establishing the terms of service, with emails, paperwork, and signatures, I can’t say we knocked this out of the park. I, Maria, may have overwhelmed them with a few too many details, in the midst of arranging a funeral happening that following Monday. What we did achieve, however, was compassionate communication, timely updates, and a clear plan of action, that reassured the family we weren’t going anywhere, and if unforeseen circumstances would arise (sudden illness), we had a backup plan even then.
That primary plan, though, required significant preparation even beyond the deal and ensuring the clients (he and his wife) were happy along the way. It required calling the church and inquiring about the wifi, at the client’s request. Creating an intro video clip that captured their dear departed’s Irish Catholic heritage. Making use of a new software, creating the livestream event (after YouTube permitted), testing the livestream, testing our video and audio equipment, making a packing list, printing the list, making a shoot plan, and more.
The morning of, it required making sure our attire and presentation was appropriate for the occasion. It required working as a team (including our daughter and Asher’s mom), ensuring all the equipment, and even water and snacks, were loaded into the car in a timely fashion, before taking our daughter to school. It required showing up early, as we promised, greeting Father John, connecting with the music & facilities director Bill, getting the wifi hotspot from a family member, and troubleshooting all the known issues in the time allotted. All the while being present for the family, present for the online guests, and staying out of the way as much as possible when the time came.
A Discrete Vantage Point
When we arrived at the church the morning of the funeral, we were given access to this upstairs nook, where they livestream and monitor sound. We brought an extra camera, and were offered a closer vantage point to record, but ultimately felt staying out of sight, would be most appropriate for the occasion.
12 Lessons We Learned from Livestreaming a Funeral
Of all the lessons we gained from live-streaming that funeral, here are some of our top takeaways:
It matters that you plant seeds. Have faith. Keep going. And ask for help when you need it. Not every seed will bear fruit. But eventually the right ones will.
It matters how you plant them too. Be kind. Earn trust. That takes time.
Be willing to serve. Service can build capacity. And capacity doesn’t happen overnight. It can also take time, tending, and patience.
Be prepared for the unexpected. Not only unexpected challenges, but unexpected opportunities. And be grateful how God ordered your steps, so that you were able to rise to the occasion when an opportunity/need arose.
Pivot when a need arises. We didn’t overtly promote our livestream services, compared to the memorial and legacy videos. But we were clued early on in our outreach that the main unmet need out there might be livestreaming.
Grow (and serve) where you’re planted. Proactively get to know the needs around you. And see how you can meet those needs.
Be open to pruning. If there’s anything drawing your energy away from growing; if you’re feeling stressed, tired, or distracted by a negative news cycle; if you’re getting moody, impatient, and drawn into unnecessary conflicts, it might be time to pause, prune, repair, and proceed. So, like any healthy plant, you can be fruitful.
Work together, and honor one another’s strengths. You were put together for a reason. You need one another, complement one another, and are better together. Find the flow where you’re working together as a true team.
Be prepared, so you can keep your word. All the preparation we put into thinking through livestreaming and recording the service well mattered. But so did creating a thorough packing list, that we used before packing the car as well as leaving the venue. We might not have kept our word to our clients–that we’d do everything in our power to ensure a smooth, successful livestream–if one of us had to go all the way back home to get something.
Know what questions to ask–in advance when possible. Especially when it comes to livestreaming audio through someone else’s system. Just because someone tells you one thing, ask your ears and your gut if what they’re telling you is accurate–before it’s too late to change. (We had a double feed for a singer.)
Remember to be present. Show sensitivity and compassion toward the people you are serving. Empathize with what they are going through. Employ that empathy into your artistry. Be present, so you can capture and honor the most meaningful moments for the family who hired you, and all those present.
Above all, remember your higher purpose. Whose you are. That God has given you inherent worth, light to bear, and divine purposes that are much bigger than you. And that you get to choose to center and represent Him well, or get caught up in a lower vibration.
One of our most rewarding moments
Finding the right background and music for the livestream video intro was rewarding, as we felt it honored Mr. Hughes’ life, and what he meant to his family. But receiving praise from his daughter on it meant all the more.
The Proof is in the Purpose
Why is it that not every seed we plant bears fruit? We can’t speak to your struggles. But if every seed we planted bore fruit immediately, we might not learn anything. We, ourselves, might not grow. And, we might get off course. Sometimes we don’t plant purposefully. Sometimes we scatter seeds to increase the chances something good will happen without seeking wise, orderly direction from trusted advisers and, especially, a Higher Power. Sometimes, perhaps because our faith has frayed, we play it small. Or stop remembering the value in the purpose that once guided us. (Or for some, don’t have that guiding principle or two quite mapped out yet.) That purpose, and the clarifying of that purpose, is what can often bring growth. Not always immediately. But at the right time, and when you don’t give up. (Check out our Fields of Plenty Philosophy on our homepage for related guidance.)
*Earlier, we mentioned the resources at our disposal. One resource that was readily at our disposal, but that we didn’t realize was frayed, was our faith. Faith that would fuel us to knock on more doors. Faith that would fuel us to ask more questions. And faith that would fuel us to dream bigger dreams–or rather, the big dream we believe God had given us for Fields of Plenty Pictures in the first place. It’s not that we didn’t have any–it’s that we didn’t realize it needed to be repaired.
What’s clear now is that every step we took, even every ‘no’ we’ve received, continues to work together for our good. That’s not to say that it’s been easy. But what has happened in the process of building this dream, seed by seed, story by story, is a clearer sense of the calling we’ve received, and the purpose that we carry–that goes far beyond what we can even conceive.
**The man whose funeral we livestreamed, Mr. James Hughes, was born on Maria’s mother’s birthday (albeit a different year), shared also by another Jim with a Catholic background whose memoir we recommended in our first newsletter, and have been in talks with. Three stories we’ve felt commissioned to tell in different ways, all with the same birthday. We don’t always understand the significance of events in our lives or “coincidences” like these. But what we can say is that sometimes they’re a sign—that you’re on the right track, and to keep planting those seeds, whatever storms or droughts may come.
What about you? 🌟
What has reading this article brought up for you? What lessons stood out to you? What seeds might you want to plant? We’d love to hear from you.
Have a loved one you’d like to honor? A legacy you want to preserve? Or a story you have to tell? Please check out our Services page, and let us know how we can help.